Reconsidering Balance

Balance. 

It is a big word these days.  Finding balance in life.  Making sure no one part takes control and we lose sight of all the other facets of our lives. 

But is balance what we should be striving for?   

These thoughts were spurred by a post on Instagram by Waldorf Handwork Educators, where it discussed the need for the teacher to find balance.

Whenever I think of balance, I am reminded of a four armed teeter-totter that my friends and I loved to play on when we were young.  Each of us would sit upon one of its ends and try tirelessly to balance it out so we all floated equally above the ground.  But we all weighed different amounts!  Without seats that shifted further down the arm towards the centre, there was no way we’d ever be able to float equally above the ground. 

See, balance expects equality. Equal distribution of weight, time, energy, attention… heart. 

When everything is balanced, everything gets equal billing.  

Could that be what is exhausting us as a society? Equal attention.  Equal energy.  Equal focus. Equal heart. Without discernment? 

Is that reasonable?  

What if instead of finding balance, we strive for harmony? 

See, I believe harmony allows for “imbalance” by looking at the whole over the parts. What is the whole picture? What is needed right now within the picture? 

Think of an orchestra.  Sometimes some sections are louder than the others, but within the whole, there is still harmony.  Maybe in one symphony, drums don’t take as much of a front seat as the flutes, but keep a quiet steady beat in the background.  Maybe the next symphony is marched through the concert hall with drums and cymbals galore!  But still, the whole, ALL the sections of instruments, lend a hand to the harmony. 

When we strive for harmony, we allow for life’s ups and downs, lefts and rights, and realize not everything has the right to the same amount of time, energy, attention and heart in any given moment.

As educators, parents, students, carers, all of the above or some of the above, we are met with many daily tasks.  Balance demands everything has equal attention. Harmony places our energy and focus on one thing while assigning (sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently) less importance to the others so we can give ourselves fully and freely to the task at hand.  It allows us to dive deeply, be it for 2 minutes or 2 hours, without the feeling that there is something else we should be doing.  We can let go of that feeling because we know that within harmony, other things will either get their turn or have been delegated to someone else or another time.

I can hear your questions.  Harmony sounds great and all that, but isn’t it just ANOTHER thing to strive for? If balance doesn’t work, why would harmony?

I can only share my experience, and then invite you to try it out for yourself to see if it feels right.  

But, I believe in harmony over balance because I know that the dishes, while important, aren’t as important as the child who wants to read to me.  And while I could say to the child, “read to me while I do the dishes”  I know (and the child feels) that my attention is divided, not equal. 

I believe in harmony over balance because I know that the meeting I need to attend, while important, isn’t as important as assisting my mother at a medical appointment.  And while I could charge up my phone and take that zoom meeting in the hall or in my car, I also know that when it comes down to it, I’ll not be as attentive to either my colleagues or my mother  (true story, once upon a time I did this and I remember nothing from the meeting because I was meant to be present with my mother). 

I believe in harmony over balance because I know that the gift I am crafting as a Christmas present, while important, isn’t as important as the handwork assignment that has an earlier due date. I could do both at the same time, balancing the time I spend on each, but my work would not be as consistent and I would deprive myself of the benefit of sinking deeply into each task in turn.

I strive for harmony when, after spending time reading an assignment for class, I take a walk, even though I want to move on to an assigned handwork project.  I choose a walk because I know that later on, I’ve got a zoom meeting and I’d also like to hang out with my husband while he watches hockey.  In the big picture, I’ll need that walk, even if I don’t particularly want to walk right now. 

Within all these scenarios, I see a bigger picture.  

I see the whole.  

I COULD do it all!  It is possible to dig deep and find a way to get it all done and done well in a way that everyone and everything gets their equal share all the time. It is amazing all the things that can get squeezed into a minute, an hour a day.

But, is that healthy?  And do I want that? 

Harmony requires more of us. Harmony asks us to evaluate, prioritize, really see what has meaning and value in our life at any given moment.

Balance keeps us running because everything is important. 

Our attention is a limited resource.  This is a well documented fact.  The myth of multitasking and uber-productivity has taken hold of society and we refuse to let it go. But modern science has proven time and time again that our brains were simply not made to be continually bombarded with tasks and information.  When we choose harmony over balance, we invite introspection into what really matters, right now. 

I strive for harmony when I ask myself, what gets the gift of my attention right now?

Harmony is a dance.  An ability to pause for a moment, scan the whole picture, see things clearly, tuck our emotions away (because let’s face it, sometimes it is hard when the right choice isn’t what we want to do), sort out tasks and DO what is needed. It asks us to pivot, to gracefully two-step our way through and around chaos to decide what gets to share in our store of attention.  Harmony allows us to create a space where we can breathe and sink into what we’ve chosen to attend to. 

Striving towards harmony is soul work. 

It requires of us an ability to stand back and be open to all the possibilities that are present in the current picture.  It is up to us to decide what takes precedence over the other.

I will say there is one spot in my life where I do strive for balance. The in and outbreath of my day does, in fact, require balance.  While striving for harmony, if I am go-go-going and not taking moments of rest, then even harmony won’t do.  Part of harmony is living a breathing life that is balanced and healthy. Part of striving towards harmony recognizes that within that bigger picture we need to remember that we are living, natural beings, that require rest as well as action.  Dancing with harmony and never stopping to rest will get you in the same place as always giving everything equal attention. 

The true dance of harmony is in listening to our deeper selves.  But I’ll save that for another day 🙂

Until next time,
Marina