On the slope of the mountains there was a cloister of the Order of the Most Holy Redeemer. I often met the monks on my walks. I still remember how glad I should have been if they had spoken to me. They never did. And so I carried away from these meetings an undefined but solemn feeling which remained constantly with me for a long time. It was in my ninth year that the idea became fixed in me that there must be weighty matters in connection with the duties of these monks which I ought to learn to understand. There again I was filled with questions which I had to carry around unanswered. Indeed, these questions about all possible sorts of things made me as a boy very lonely.”
Rudolf Steiner, The Story of My Life
Chapter One, GA28
I somehow found my way to Rudolf Steiner’s biography this week. I stumbled across it while looking for something about the nine year change and came across this wonderful telling of his life around that time.
He was a boy who was interested in how people did and knew things. He was a boy who was “rooted, in a child’s way, in everything that formed a part of the practical work of life”. He would watch and imitate his father’s work in the railway office, visit the local mill to watch how the miller worked, and lived with great annoyance over the fact he wasn’t allowed into the local textile factory, even though he “participated thus in everything which disappeared within the factory and everything which reappeared.”
He was a boy who had questions, in a time where questions children carried weren’t quickly answered by adults. He had the time and space to observe and figure things out on his own to the best of his ability. He even states “I never questioned anyone regarding the mystery. For it was my childish conviction that it does no good to ask questions about a problem which is concealed from one’s eyes. Thus I lived between the friendly mill and the unfriendly factory. … I was filled with questions, and I had to carry these about with me unanswered.” This was when he was seven years old.
He goes on to tell similar tales of experiences and events that led him to curiosity until he reaches his ninth year and shares this: “On the slope of the mountains there was a cloister of the Order of the Most Holy Redeemer. I often met the monks on my walks. I still remember how glad I should have been if they had spoken to me. They never did. And so I carried away from these meetings an undefined but solemn feeling which remained constantly with me for a long time. It was in my ninth year that the idea became fixed in me that there must be weighty matters in connection with the duties of these monks which I ought to learn to understand. There again I was filled with questions which I had to carry around unanswered. Indeed, these questions about all possible sorts of things made me as a boy very lonely.”
Modern society has us answering questions for children from a very young age. I wonder if our inclination towards this encyclopedia style relationship with children would change if more people understood the value in not knowing. In sitting in the curiosity of having to piece something together for themselves OR to simply stay ignorant.
We are surrounded by instant answers, instant gratification. Simply google it and an answer shall appear. But what if sitting with unanswered questions is what supports a child’s development through specific phases of development? What if slowly discovering the answers for themselves is what provides children with the belief in themselves as they walk through times of awakening and uncertainty?
Children around age nine will slowly shift their perception of the adults in their lives from up on a pedestal of great knowledge to questioning how we actually know what we know. But they aren’t looking for us to TELL them how we know these things or to prove how much we know. In actual fact these are the first small steps children take in their development to find the answers for themselves. Think of it as a rite of passage. When we provide all the answers, there is no rite of passage for the child to walk.
This is the time when children will openly begin to question things they have taken as fact before. We don’t need to provide the answer, but can give them the space to try and figure it out themselves. To ponder. To wonder. When we fill in all the gaps for children we leave nothing for them to discover. And yes, not knowing can make children feel lonely, sad, even upset or angry. And those feelings are okay! They might just be the motivation they need to piece together an answer that feels right for them.
Until next time,
Marina
(This post is part of a weekly serial started on Michaelmas 2023. To see the other entries, please see the post linked HERE and scroll down to the bottom for individual links)
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