Differing Opinions

52 Weeks of Steiner – Week 30  (This is part of a weekly serial started on Michaelmas 2023. To see the other entries, please see the post linked HERE and scroll down to the bottom for individual links)

If anything be said to which we must reply, we must be careful to consider the speaker’s opinion, feeling, and even his prejudice, rather than what we ourselves have to say at the moment on the subject under discussion. In this example a refined quality of tact is indicated, to the cultivation of which the student must devote his care. He must learn to judge what importance it may have for the other person if he opposes the latter’s opinion with his own. This does not mean that he must withhold his opinion. There can be no question of that. But he must listen to the speaker as carefully and as attentively as he possibly can and let his reply derive its form from what he has just heard. In such cases one particular thought recurs ever and again to the student, and he is treading the right path if this thought lives with him to the extent of becoming a trait of his character. This thought is as follows: The importance lies not in the difference of our opinions but in his discovering through his own effort what is right if I contribute something toward it. Thoughts of this and of a similar nature cause the character and the behavior of the student to be permeated with a quality of gentleness, which is one of the chief means used in all esoteric training. Harshness scares away the soul-pictures that should open the eye of the soul; gentleness clears the obstacles away and unseals the inner organs.” ~ Rudolf Steiner, Knowledge of Higher Worlds

I have a new foundations student starting in a few weeks and I’m always called to look over the topics we will be discussing in part one. Knowledge of Higher Worlds fell out of my binder as I pulled it off the shelf, so I took it as a sign, ha ha.

This collection of lectures, as well as Anthroposophy in Everyday Life, are my favourite to bring to foundations students because they are very practical. They are written for “students” of anthroposophy and I find they are are highly engaging and some of the easier lectures to read, with the exception of a few sticky bits that require a pause.

This one paragraph really hit home for me. I feel like the world is living in polarities right now, with few able to really listen to the other. There seems to be a fear. A deep connection to held beliefs, to the point where if someone says something different, or that might make a person question their beliefs, it is met with anger, fear and a closed mind.

Practicing open-mindedness is actually one of Steiner’s daily practices. The first sentence of the quote, “If anything be said to which we must reply, we must be careful to consider the speaker’s opinion, feeling, and even his prejudice, rather than what we ourselves have to say at the moment on the subject under discussion.” is such a wonderful skill to develop and not only leads to an opening of the mind, but I believe an opening of the soul. When we listen like this, we are able to really SEE the other, and not just hear them. We are thinking not only of the person’s words, we are look at the whole person as well as we can. This obviously is easier with those we know, but is also a skill to be honed for interactions with strangers. I work part time in a library and when listening to customers, especially those who might not be especially pleased, it can really turn a situation around to listen without my own train of thought working overtime in response to their words.

It is so important that Steiner included that we are not to stop sharing our opinions. That the importance lies in the delivery. This is never more important than when working with adolescents. They are in a phase where they feel they know what is right as they look at the world through this newly birthed awareness and many of the struggles they have with adults come from a feeling of not feeling heard and being expected to take on an adult’s opinion as their own.

The importance lies not in the difference of our opinions but in his discovering through his own effort what is right if I contribute something toward it

When we truly listen to teens, and then share our thoughts in a way that doesn’t over power their own forming opinions, we leave room further discovery. You are both open to discovery more truth in the matter by hearing the other and contributing to each other’s building opinions. While I don’t agree with the wording “what is right”, because none of us might be right, I agree with the impulse behind the words and wonder if the translation is lacking a bit of finesse.

Our goal in conversation should never be to convince the other, but to continue to take in information to shape our own opinions. In his lecture The Tasks of Schools and The Threefold Social Organism Steiner states:

We need to be clear that it is inappropriate to work toward standardizing human souls through future educational methods or school organization. We cannot rule that something is valid in all cases for the spirit and soul, and then require that it be taught to children. We must be able to place ourselves into the souls of those who think and feel differently. …

Similarly, we don’t need to fear the worldview of another if we are enthusiastic and strong in our own. Such attitudes can develop in free spiritual competition, but certainly not through laws.”

We don’t need to fear different views. We can be open to growth of our own, or simply open to hearing the perspective of the other, even if it doesn’t change our current view.

Some things to ponder:

• When you listen to another, is your mind free to really listen?
• Do judgments pop up while the other speaks? Where are those judgements coming from? What are they connected to?
• Can you place yourself in the shoes of the other and feel their point of view?
• If hearing another point of view stirs up feelings of anger, what is it connected to?
• If a conversation has you feeling defensive, sometimes it is better to hear the other and then take space to ponder their words and your reaction before providing a response. Making time and space to bring consciousness to your response is a wonderful skill!

What else would you add to the list?

Until next time,
Marina