The Wisdom of Hobbit Life

Featured image by Emma Farley from Pixabay

Today I invite you to come with me on a walk through my musings. I’ve just finished a re-read of The Hobbit, and the way it ties into my life with each re-read always astonishes me.

I first read The Hobbit in the autumn of 2019. I’d never read it before, and neither had my children.

Yes, I know. Should I have even been calling myself a homeschooler before then?? It seemed like I was the only one so far into their homeschooling career who hadn’t yet experienced the goodness of Hobbits.

What can I say, I’m a late bloomer.

But now that I know, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to seeing life in the same way. That sentence seems drastic, but The Hobbit was brought to my family just when it was about to be needed the most. To be a Hobbit means to live and breath the beauty of home and comfort and family. To live in the worlds created by JRR Tolkien means to see the value in family, celebrations and food, as well as struggles and fears to be overcome that are intertwined in daily life.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

Thorin, from The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

I mean, can anything be more true?

I’ve reread The Hobbit a few times since, and realized the underlying message that has spoken to me is balance. It is good and fine to be safe, but it is also good and fine to throw a little adventure in the mix as well. It is good and fine to work, and but it is equally good and fine to sing and dance and celebrate life.

In modern, non-hobbit times, it seems difficult to bring that balance to life. We can hold it in our heads and thought, create elaborate plans and goals, but our execution often feels like it falls short. In my reflection on this topic, I’ve come to realize that the thing that takes me away from balance the most is my own habit of “comfortable convenience” and the outside world.

During those first few months of the pandemic, while the world outside seemed to be falling into disarray and nary a sheet of toilet paper or bag of flour could be found, our family was actually experiencing a time of great balance. My husband I and jointly put effort into creating as filtered a life as was possible for our children while we figured out what was going on. While we were well aware of the possible gravity of the situation outside our doors, we were able to balance that with family read alouds and game nights, walks with the dog, and blessedly, work in our small urban garden. We already had a firm rhythm based on our family values in place, and because we were mostly home bound, it was SO easy to continue on and fall even deeper into its comfort.

Once my husband and I were called back to work though, it became harder to keep that balance. The outside world was knocking down the door, so loud and repetitive and full of fear and we really needed to do the work to keep our family balanced.

After a year of being back at work outside the home, I actually took a year off because the forces that keep my body and soul healthy were totally overrun by the noise of the times. The filters that I had so carefully created and cared for could not withstand the deluge of a modern day social crisis. I needed to get back to the drawing board and do the work to step out of the convenience of ignoring what was really going on (my body, soul and spirit were utterly exhausted) and create what was needed (to get back to balance of rhythm and routine).

That work required introspection and ACTION. I knew why I was derailed and totally exhausted, but my body and soul were too weak to do the work needed for action. I kept getting dragged back in and pulled down and away from what I knew was needed. That is what called me to take a year away from work outside the home.

Knowing what is causing the derailment of our goals and then acting on a solution sounds simple enough, but too often we miss that crucial last step! We do so much introspection and spend little time on the work it takes to actually achieve our home and family goals. In my experience, the introspection is the easy part! It is working the will and following through that is the hard bit. Sometimes, even just knowing where to start is a struggle.

Let’s go back to those beloved hobbits for a moment.

The book starts with a very reluctant Bilbo not wanting any adventure (or change), but eventually after relenting to Ganldalf’s urging, he joins the quest. I like to think of Gandalf as the inner voice we sometimes ignore. And Bilbo as the mirror we sometimes need.

We often know when our lives aren’t working. When we need more rhythm and less frazzle, more focus on our family values and less focus the distractions. It is so easy to stay in the comfort and convenience of the familiar, even if the familiar isn’t benefiting us.

So what is a person to do?

I am a big fan of baby steps, because I believe all those small steps lead up to big, sustainable changes. Choose one thing, and work your hardest to make that one thing successful. For example, if you are feeling a disconnect with your children, choose one simple thing you can do to bring togetherness and do that regularly and with ferocity. Stick with it like your life depends on it. Maybe you might have to say no to other things, but keep going. After a while, you’ll notice what you say no to most often, and you’ll realize that it actually needs less space in your life. If it is something that can’t be totally neglected, find a spot for it where it can live, but not control.

Once you have developed that new habit, add another goal in and hold to it with just as much conviction. Remember, what you value and the goals you want to strive towards are important! They deserve the hard work necessary to make them realities. And once these habits are set, you’ll be able to balance the “inconvenience” of adventure without being totally derailed. Your rhythm and all the things you hold with importance will still be there when you get back. You’ve done the work to imprint them into your heart and they now speak louder than all the noise in the world.

Baby steps can boil down to these few actions:
1. Identify the area that needs attention
2. Pinpoint why it needs attention; what are the needs?
3. Create a simple plan to bring about change
4. Implement it! Keep it going for at least three weeks
5. If it works and everyone’s needs are met, keep it!
OR
5. If it doesn’t work, go back to step two and see if you misunderstood what was really going on.

I’ll leave you with another short quote from The Hobbit

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”

JRR Tolkien ~ The Hobbit

Warmly,
Marina