About a year and a half ago, I stopped telling my children to go outside.
Sounds strange, right? I mean, children need to be outside. Was I bordering on neglectful parenting?
The reason I stopped is because I was walking into a battleground I didn’t want to enter. I knew in my heart that children know what they need, and worried that the battle that was starting to develop every time I told them it was time to go outside would dampen their natural instincts to connect with nature.
So I stopped telling them to go out, and I started telling them when I was going out.
See what I did there?
I’d tell them I was going out to read or garden or sweep or paint or draw. What ever I had decided to do.
Initially, I was on my own. But slowly, curiosity would get them to venture out to visit, and eventually, they were telling ME they were going outside. I put all my money on imitation, and it worked!
Now I often find them curled up reading or drawing, pulling weeds, bird watching or just hanging with the dog. Children are not just imitative from birth to seven, they watch us all through childhood. There is a time and a place for placing demands that need to be followed on children. I find there is always more time for being worthy of imitation and creating invitations for children to live alongside us. There is very little time for “Do as I say and not as I do.”
My children found their own way to what was needed without all the nagging and lectures. Now we all go outside happily. Win-win. I encourage you to try it as well!
Until next time,
Marina
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