Phases of Childhood

“A complete change seems to have come over his feelings as though he has lost their protection of the imaginative world projected outside himself, as though he suddenly, seeing it’s worst side, experiences the world as a hostile place. … The child has become critical. The people he respected most and who had been placed on a pedestal, fall the furthest, and this makes the child himself very unhappy. In his unhappiness he will use ever more critical terms.”

~Phases of Childhood by Bernard CJ Lievegoed
(Quote in reference to the nine year change)

This has been my go-to book recently.

I read (and re-read) it to remind myself of where my children are developmentally. To remind myself that they are the ones in an awakening, sometimes referred to as a crisis. I prefer the term awakening these are times in development when there is an awakening of consciousness. And while it can send the child into a bit of a storm, I feel that crisis brings a negativity to a transformation that is beautiful.

This book helps me to remember that what is happening isn’t about me or reflective of my parenting. They NEED to go through these stages of unrest. The process of change and awakening is not without its bumps! It reminds me that as long as I hold the space, show them loving guidance, and stay consistent we will all thrive in the end.

With my children 2.5 years apart it feels like just when I get through the other side of a transformation with my eldest, my youngest enters the phase. What a ride!

I’ll do a more in-depth review of this book in the future, but right now I’m going to savour his words.

Until next time,
Marina